Some days I can barely remember my name

The title says it all. It's hard, I some how have managed to loose my self and my mind through all of this. My day's revolve around hospital visits and doctors and medicine and sickness. I have nothing else to say. I want Wondernurse to get better and it's killing me that I can't help. She has been in the hospital now for almost 3 weeks. In the last 7 weeks she's been there a total of 5 weeks. I hate going there, I hate the smells and the sounds and the constant interuptions. I miss just being able to sit and talk to her, I miss her calling me every day after work to tell me how her day was. Now our talks are just of what is still hurting or what the doctors have said. I pray every day for the strength to carry on for just 5 more minutes. That's how I take my day's by the minute. Things are looking up, the have scanned and probed and they can't find cancer anywhere else then when it was in her ovaries. Thats the good news, the bad news is that they can't get it all, there's always microscopic cells still lurking there ready to grow into tumors, that's why we have to do the chemo. The cumiden isn't helping so she has to give herself a shot of a different medicine twice a day to help with the blood clots but at least that is working. She got pnemonia while in the hospital so they are treating that with medicine and breathing treatments. Thankfully that seems to be helping too, now if I could only get her to eat! All the medicine though makes her sick and chemo will only make it worse. As she jokes, its the best diet she's ever been on.
I am still trying to work from home, it's hard though, I feel bad when I am not with her. What if she dies and I didn't take this time to be with her. But I have to work, I have to pay for an apartment I don't live in, pay for electricity and water I don't use, the banks want me to pay back my student loans etc. I have to work but I am consummed with guilt. Guilt when I am not with her, guilt when I am not working, guilt for what this is doing to my relationship with EngineerBoy and my friends. I am so filled with guilt I just don't know how to make any of it better.I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle but sometimes I wonder. How can I handle all of this?