I hate being an overachiever

I really hate being an overachiever. I have been taught since birth, do what you are doing to the BEST of your ability. If you suck at it at least you know you have done your best. It taught me that I might not always win (I grew up in a time before "Free Fair Fun sports where everyone gets a trophy, no one looses, they don't take score etc BS) but I could hold my head up high because I did the best I could. I always took the advanced classes if the non-advanced classes were too easy. This meant I took AP English, even though I HATED English, it meant I worked my ass off in AP calculus even if it was the hardest thing I had taken at the time. It meant I didn't give up on studying to be an engineer in college even though it meant I couldn't always go out with my friends because I had homework or had to study.

This overachiever thing is now biting me in the ass. I hate my current job, my lead couldn't find his ass with both hands, my co-worker is a great worker bee but couldn't lead thirsty/dying man to water therefore it is left to me. The one who gets bored easily so I do all my work as soon as it comes across my desk, the one who took so many classes in leadership in college I should have gotten a BA in leadership. I may not be the VERY best leader but I am a damn good one and I have the awards to prove it.

Four months ago my manager promised me that I could "pimp" myself out to another group just as soon as we got everything in our group under control. Fast forward to present day, I am still hearing this crap and to make it even better, my lead, the one who makes 10 times as much money as I do, the one whose name is on the final product has to take personal time to deal with "issues" and they are looking to me to pick up his slack. Oh wait, I already do just for less money and no recognition! The man doesn't have a independent thought in his head, whenever he has to make a decision he asks me what he should do and then he presents the idea's as his own. Upper management thinks he knows his shit and always complements him about the product but if you asked him even the simplest question about it he always responds "Let me look into that, I don't have my notes in front of me", yea I am not standing there to whisper the answer in his ear. He probably does something with his 9 hours a day, I am just not sure if it's billable. If I truly believed he had "personal issues" to deal with I would say a prayer for him and suck it up but with him I just don't believe it. It's just too convenient, we have a major push to get a product out in 3 weeks. Everything was fine last week, now the world is ending. It always happens when something is needed ASAP and there is even a hint of un-paid overtime, he has "issues" that he needs to be away from work to take care of. I think his "issues" are he doesn't want to work. I know people who worked with him in the past and this is his classic MO. The worst thing is whenever his work ethic is questioned with legitimate hard core evidence he plays the race card! The "white man" is trying to keep the "black man" down. Give me a break, it's because you are a lazy SOB ! Now I have to wait until our products are complete to even think about doing a work share and working for another group half time. My manager actually told me that they wouldn't let me go to the other group because I do my job so well they couldn't afford to loan me out to another group. So I am left here to make less money, get no recognition and no job satisfaction all because I am a hard worker. I am basically being penalized for doing my job to the best of my ability but they won't let the person who does a crappy job go! It beggs the question, if I did a crappy job would they let me do the work share they promised? WTF!!!

Another problem I have with my job is no one can stick with a decision. Even if it is the RIGHT decision my upper management will change their mind if a gang gathers together and hijacks the product. I spent all of last week changes things over and over because no one would make up their mind and stick to it. We made a decision 5 months ago and the lower levels chose not to deal with it then, when we had the time to work the issues. Now with 3 weeks to go they start screaming and instead of saying we made this decision 5 months ago, asked you your opinion and you chose to ignore us you now how to live with the consequences, they are forcing me to "work" it ASAP. Why so you can just change your mind again when another "gang" bitches? How the hell are we going to go to the moon if we always give in to the bullies?

I hate being an overachiever and I swear one day soon my head will come off my body and rotate while spewing vomit.......